I don't often read the HuffPost, but this was funny. Some highlights:
If only our culture was as inferior as those of other countries, we could fly planes into their buildings.
Not executing homosexuals or adulturers makes us a laughing stock in Islamic countries.
If we truly were a corrupt corporate pawn, we would have gotten oil for blood.
The relentless stress of tenure is causing scholars across the nation to crack under pressure.
Churchgoers continue to attend mass despite the added folk guitar.
Winning the Cold War means George Clooney can tell us how meaningless the Cold War was.
No large-scale rioting occured after the New Orleans disaster. There's clearly not enough factional violence to undermine this whole melting pot thing.
Our constitution is simply too lenient and doesn't allow for beheadings.
Abu Ghraib proves our military is totally okay with encouraging gay lifestyles.
Unending series of medical and pharmaceutical breakthroughs by private research undermines population control.
We will probably solve global warming before anybody else, then use the solution to make more money.
Native Americans getting rich off casinos instead of staying dirt-poor does nothing to prove how bad colonialism was.
Democracy still an untested theory! 230 years not nearly long enough trial period to truly know if it's safe for general use.